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One Last Try
I've given up on dating, very nearly completely. I'm hanging on to that last glimmer of hope.
Craig's List ads, in particular, have never led to anything good for me. A few short relationships, but my biggest problem is that men aren't upfront with me about what they expect from the relationship, so they get pissed when they realize that I have different expectations & learn that I have... (Oh god, here it comes!)... Emotions & feelings towards them.
I've been though more relationships that I thought were serious (as in would lead to marriage) than I can count on both hands, & the sad part is that I'm only 21.
I'm in my party stage, like most 21 year olds are, but I don't party the way most 21 year olds do. When I go to the bar, it's to sing (karaoke rox my sox), & I do that as often as I can. I never touch a drink unless I know someone else is driving, & since I usually go by myself, it's once in a blue moon that that happens. I sometimes drink at home or with my neighbors, but that's pretty rare too. I don't do drugs, I don't even smoke pot. I am the good influence among my friends, & often the designated driver. I have a great job where I'm extremely happy, I have my own car, & I do pretty well for myself. The only thing I don't have going for me is that I still live with my folks.
I have what many would consider a split personality. I've recently heard it described as "The Mouse or The Monster". There are 3 ways that I can easily explain this. I'll start with the easiest:
1. During the first few dates with me, I will be a shy, unconfident, often obedient girl - The Mouse.
During your last few weeks in a relationship with me, I am confident, out spoken, & will often think "I do so much for you, and you never take any interest in MY needs!" - The Monster. I like to talk about any problems we're having, & the longer it takes for a change, the more we'll talk about it. Most guys don't take me seriously when I point out the problem, & so nothing changes & I leave the relationship. If you think the outcome will be different with you, I welcome you to send a message my way, but 99% of all the relationships that I have been in have ended this way.
2. If you've been paying attention, you'll already know that I enjoy karaoke. The reason that I enjoy karaoke so much is because I'm a musician, & it's a fun way for me to practice my craft.
My off stage personality is The Mouse - Shy about her vocal talent, unconfident, nervous to sing in front of others, doesn't easily accept compliments, etc.
My on stage personality is The Monster - Confident, powerful, blunt. I often insult those I dedicate songs to because I usually only do so when I'm angry, & most of the songs I enjoy singing are angry, powerful songs. The same can be said of the songs I write.
3. The third way is a little more difficult to explain without going into too much detail. This is also where I tell you a little more about the partier in me.
I have a very timid personality. I'm pretty easy-going, spend most of my day smiling & helping others, etc - The Mouse.
The Monster part of me is a very sexual person. I've done more, sexually, than most women, & there's a lot more that I'd like to try (after we've talked for a while, ask me about FetLife), but there's also a lot that I will never do again. I can be very aggressive in the bedroom, but I've found that most of the time, I'm still The Mouse. I very much want to be able to free that Monster inside me, but I'm often nervous that my partner won't like what The Monster likes, so my partners never get to see The Monster, & it leads to a lot of sexual frustration on my end. I need a partner who is very open minded, but understanding that I have limits & boundaries. Mutual respect is very important to me.
That's another thing. I'm not a person who demands respect, I simply give it & it is your choice to return it or ignore it. Finding people who respect me as much as I respect them has proven difficult for me. I can sense a disrespectful personality from a mile away. You'll be lucky if you get a first date out of me if you can't treat others with respect.
More about me... Um... I'm a nerdy gal - I play video games like Pokemon & Final Fantasy, etc -but I'm also a country gal - Rode horses all my life, although I haven't been able to go riding in a few years due to circumstances beyond my control... I'm very open minded - I actively fight for gay rights & have been to a couple different marches for gay & women's rights. I'm not a very physiy active person - My work has me on my feet & lifting heavy things & people non-stop for 8 hours a day, & that's about all the physical stress my body can handle right now.
Although I am pretty open minded, I prefer not to date anyone more than 10 years older than me,
so anyone over 31 need not apply. Sorry!
Um... I think that's all the really important stuff to talk about...
- Tell me your age & any other information you think I should know about you. Things that we might have in common are always good to tell me about.
- In the subject line of your message, use any word that starts with the letter "B" to describe yourself. Creative &/or big words earn brownie points.
- Don't ask me about FetLife right off the bat or I'll think that sex is all you want from me.
- Don't bother if you want anything less than a monogamous, long term, eventually marital relationship. In the words of Shania Twain, "If you're not in it for love, I'm outta here!"
- Don't send me a picture & expect me to send mine. We'll exchange pictures AFTER we've figured out whether or not we like each other.
- Don't tell me your favorite music is rap. Rap is not music, it is poetry with background noise, & that doesn't make me hate it any less.
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"Scent of a Woman"
There are three things that I love most about my beautiful black women: their shape, their style, and their scent. The scent of a woman is an afrodisiac for me. Whether it's Euphoria by Calvin Klein or Sea Island Cotton by Bath and Body Works, the chemisrty it creates is unmatched. I am a sexy stud who loves the touch, feel, and scent of a woman. I am well-educated, gainfully employed and completely independent. I ask that you be the same. You must be sexy and sensual! I love a woman who are voluptuous, but please, no sloppy, grossly overweight, and badly proportioned women who don't take care of themselves...and NO weaves! I love all my beautiful black women, I just like the one for me to be one who wears her own hair and takes good care of herself. While I am not looking to commit immediately after sex (lol), I am looking for..the one; I just want to make sure before I commit that you are the "right one". Hey, I am a real laid back person who likes to have fun and I like a woman with a since of humor and a certain level of sarcasm...it's sexy! If you fit the script, then please respond with a pic. Lady wants casual sex Oliver
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